21 January 2013

Rolling a warden is always a stupid idea

So once again, it's this time of the year - everyone's eagerly waiting for the new instances and hoping that there will be lots of shinies for everyone.

You, however, are a very practical person, so you waste no time on dreaming about shinies that will never drop. Instead of that you are trying to figure out who from your kin could fill which role to make sure that everything goes well for your group. After all there's still some time left, so if it turns out that you're missing something, then you as a very responsible kinmate can always level an alt and learn to play as quickly as possible, hoping that it'll be enough.

Finding out that all your tanks have quit should not come as a surprise because tanking is a fairly stressful and a very thankless job. "Alright," you think, "I tried a guardian two years ago and I did not like it, but wardens seem pretty fun, so I'll give it a go! What's the worst that could happen?"

Well, let me tell you this: it is a bad idea and here's why...

1. No one believes you can tank. 
I'm sure most wardens can come up with real examples from their tanking careers when at some point there was a person - or several people - who said something like, "What, are you trying to tank? Nnnnope, I don't think so. I know a guard who hit level cap yesterday, though, he can tank for us!"
Oh, the blind rage that every warden feels when the worst guard on the server gets to tank and they're forced to DPS in a raid...

2. No one believes you can DPS.
"What, are you trying to DPS? Nnnope, I don't think so. I know a champ who hit level cap yesterday, though, he can DPS and you can switch to your [class]!"
I don't know why people think that wardens can't do it because in my opinion nothing says DPS like a spear to the face. Also, JAVELIN TOSS LIKE A BOSS!
I don't know why it turned out like that, but it seems that I accidentally drew a gay vampire lord instead of a lore-master. lol oops?

3. Two wardens walk into a bar and confuse the hell out of everyone else, including wardens with different setups. 
That's probably one of the most annoying things about wardens because if you want to discuss your rotation with other wardens, then you have to check and double check to make sure that you're talking about the same thing.
Why can't everyone just stick to the standard 1 = spear, 2 = shield and 3 = fist setup instead of trying to be creative and coming up with all kinds of silly systems, such as R - spear, G - shield, Y - fist; brackets to denote masteries; that spshfi thing that makes my brain hurt and so on...

4. This class is not suitable for small children. 
It's also not for suitable mathematically impaired people, people who have issues with remembering stuff, overly sensitive people, people who don't like numbers, people who can't take criticism, people who don't perform well under pressure... and anyone else for that matter. Just don't roll a warden and you'll live a happier life.

5. Your fashion sense is tremendously important.
Come on, all your damage, healing and threat comes from dancing! You can't just walk in with your ugly dirty questing outfit and expect to be taken seriously in the warden community. It just doesn't work that way!
Just make sure you shine like a diamond and you should be good to go.

6. Die once during the fight and you might as well leave the instance to grow taters in the Shire.
It's very hard to pull aggro from a warden that 1) knows what they're doing, and 2) really wants to have that aggro. Some may say that it's even impossible... but what most people don't know is that once a warden dies - and it's bound to happen, just look at their ridiculous leather armour - they're pretty much unable to get their precious aggro back. It's just not going to happen. If your warden dies... may the Valar have mercy on your soul.
And perhaps they're kind enough to transform one of your hunters to a guardian.

7. Stun, disarm, fear = having a good time, having a good time!
Being disarmed means that you can only yell at stuff and being feared means you can only hit them in the face. Being stunned is probably the most unfortunate of them all because most wardens have a certain rhythm for hitting their basic builders and a stun messes it all up, often resulting in missed gambits and possibly even the hunter pulling aggro again.
That's like hitting the drummer when he's going, "One, two; one, two, three-" BAM!
The result is a dizzy drummer and a confused band.

So there you go, clearly you should not roll a warden. No need to thank me!

It seems that Ward hit lvl 85 roughly 3 hours after I posted this. What a nice coincidence! This also means that all the amateur wardens on GLFF who thought that they are the best wardens on Crickhollow have to back off because  the boys are back in town.

02 January 2013

Free symbols for everyone!

Dear Durchest,

thanks for making everyone so rich and the symbols so cheap!

Yours sincerely,