26 April 2012

lol what, RK rocks?

True story, real experiences, all true. We all learned a very valuable lesson on the 2nd trash pull of t2 shadow wing (in ToO, of course)...

Dear RK rocks,
lol what?

the rest of the world

20 April 2012

Useful/useless classes for raids

 I can understand that most people have never lead any raids (and probably never will), but let's just imagine for a moment what it feels like to be a raid leader who needs to assemble a group that'd be able to tackle T2 content in raids.

So you need a tank, maybe 2-3 tanks, amazing healers, good DPS and some support. All your kinmates are winking and say they're free to join any runs, but you know that some of them are worth absolutely nothing. Which ones to invite and which ones to leave behind? Decisions, decisions...

But worry not! With my brand new guide you'll be able to pick the right people with almost no effort at all! So this is my list of classes/roles in LotRO, ranked by their usefulness. The ones that you do not want in a raid come first and the ones that you really should invite are among the last.


Let’s face it – no one wants a warden and even more so if the warden is really bad at whatever they’re doing, be it DPS, tanking or whatever. I don’t like them. You don’t like them. The healer doesn’t like them. Even the bad hunters can point their fingers and feel superior for one moment. But staring at all their flashy skills and animations can be almost hypnotising, which is probably how wardens get into raid groups. Just pop a few shiny skills and get an invite.


Arrogant creatures made famous by a certain hobbit promoting mediocre LMs on our server. They do exist and I’ve heard they do quite well in Ettenmoors, but no one wants them in raids. „9/12 ToO shadow wing, need DPS.“ – „I can DPS!“ – „... you’re a mini.“ – „So?“ – „Why did you roll a healing class to DPS?...“ *crickets*
This is why they have to beg people to invite them anywhere.


You’re a sad excuse for real DPS, shooting lightning from your fingertips breaks the lore, you’re pathetically squishy and you’re taken to raids only because you’re friends with the raid leader or because they secretly hope to convince you to heal.


Worthless, useless, clueless. Their moms (or „mums“) wept bitterly when they told their parents they wanted to become hunters, their friends turned their heads away in shame and disgust, their dads refused to mention the hunter’s name in future conversations. „I don’t have a son/daughter!“ they exclaimed. Quite proudly, might I add. No one wants a hunter. They only pull aggro and break CC, that’s all they can do.


No one hates captains, oh no – they do far too many cool things to be hated!... but no one really knows what they do. You could save the whole fellowship in 10 seconds and no one would notice. You can shield the tank, pop IHW and LS (just in case), rez the healer(s), use ToN and RC for good measure... and everyone will thank the DPS RK for saving the day. Life just isn’t fair.


Elusive nearly mythical creatures with amazing super powers. Only tales of them remain and while yes, there have been reports of couple of such beasts on Crickhollow, there are no eyewitnesses to confirm their existence which means that a) our god moders are either so awesome that you die when you see them, or b) they simply do not exist. A few complicated equations involving lots of foreign looking letters have shown that the probability of having super powers is the highest when the warden is traited for tanking. For DPS wardens that probability is precisely 0.
By the way, the text on the parchment is written in English. I probably got a few letters wrong, but it should be alright. No one can read it anyway.


The misunderstood silly looking bear hugging people in bathrobes – yes, the LMs. We like their debuffs (even though most people don’t really know what the debuffs do and only admire the colourful icons under the mob’s vitals), we really like their CC, their heals and rezzes are okay if no one else is there to do it, their pets look rather cute (definitely cuter than RK pets) and usually they’re relatively nice people, except for when they’re trolling GLFF.


Long have the healing rune-keepers had to stay silent when someone asked for raid worthy healers, long have they been jealous of healing minstrels, long has their only supportive friend been their own pet rock... but not anymore. Try to befriend one because sometimes they give 10k heals to their friends for free, not to mention the zillion HoTs that they put on everyone, including complete strangers and their worst enemies. Rune-keepers are amazing now.


Not much is known about the sneaky little creatures, but people like them for their ability to pop Fellowship Manoeuvres – this is how you spell that word, you bunch of  illiterate... things – and tend to avoid conflict with burglars because burgs might steal all your pies and cookies when they’re angry. I also heard they’re rather good in the Moors, especially near the rez circles.


Did you want an amazing DPS class that is quite sturdy even when they’re in their glass cannon spec? Did you want a class that can (usually) pull aggro and not worry about dying? Well, you shouldn’t have rolled a hunter, then, because clearly you were looking for champions and their shiny flashy swords. Shing shing! And all your problems are solved. They can even yell a bit to add variety to their repertoire.


Look, guards are not loved because they’re so good. They’re usually loved because they’re the ones that take all the beating while everyone else does the important stuff. Sadly all the blows they take often destroy the last few brain cells they had, resulting in extreme arrogance, nonexistent intelligence and the illusion that they’re the most important part of the raid. Oh, silly guards, you’d be nothing without the other people in your group.


Hello hello, healing minstrels, we all love you very dearly if you know how to do your job, you always smell fresh and look fashionable and no one in the whole Middle-earth could ever resist the wonderful melodies you play on your wonderful instruments.
... Bagpipes do not count, they were clearly invented by Morgoth.

You're welcome.

07 April 2012

C is for campfire

 May this picture bring good luck to both balrogs and FCers alike... we all know how miserable a raid can be without the incredibly useful bonuses that a hunter campfire provides.

In other news: I almost forgot the existence of this blog for 2 weeks and honestly, I will try to come up with something silly again. Soon. Soonish.