In case there are still people who haven't noticed yet, I'm taking a short break from drawing silly comics. It shouldn't last longer than roughly three more weeks, unless something in this awful thing called Real Life goes horribly wrong. The raiding (or waiting for people to log on) takes enough of my time, I can't afford to waste even more of it this month.
I'm sorry.
On a brighter note: at least all the people in our raids can now make their stupid mistakes without having to worry about being humiliated on my blog.
14 May 2012
26 April 2012
lol what, RK rocks?
True story, real experiences, all true. We all learned a very valuable lesson on the 2nd trash pull of t2 shadow wing (in ToO, of course)...
Dear RK rocks,
lol what?
Sincerely,
the rest of the world
Dear RK rocks,
lol what?
Sincerely,
the rest of the world
20 April 2012
Useful/useless classes for raids
I can understand that most people have never lead any raids (and probably never will), but let's just imagine for a moment what it feels like to be a raid leader who needs to assemble a group that'd be able to tackle T2 content in raids.
So you need a tank, maybe 2-3 tanks, amazing healers, good DPS and some support. All your kinmates are winking and say they're free to join any runs, but you know that some of them are worth absolutely nothing. Which ones to invite and which ones to leave behind? Decisions, decisions...
But worry not! With my brand new guide you'll be able to pick the right people with almost no effort at all! So this is my list of classes/roles in LotRO, ranked by their usefulness. The ones that you do not want in a raid come first and the ones that you really should invite are among the last.
WARDENS
Let’s face it – no one wants a warden and even more so if the warden is really bad at whatever they’re doing, be it DPS, tanking or whatever. I don’t like them. You don’t like them. The healer doesn’t like them. Even the bad hunters can point their fingers and feel superior for one moment. But staring at all their flashy skills and animations can be almost hypnotising, which is probably how wardens get into raid groups. Just pop a few shiny skills and get an invite.
DPS MINSTRELS
Arrogant creatures made famous by a certain hobbit promoting mediocre LMs on our server. They do exist and I’ve heard they do quite well in Ettenmoors, but no one wants them in raids. „9/12 ToO shadow wing, need DPS.“ – „I can DPS!“ – „... you’re a mini.“ – „So?“ – „Why did you roll a healing class to DPS?...“ *crickets*
This is why they have to beg people to invite them anywhere.
DPS RUNE-KEEPERS
You’re a sad excuse for real DPS, shooting lightning from your fingertips breaks the lore, you’re pathetically squishy and you’re taken to raids only because you’re friends with the raid leader or because they secretly hope to convince you to heal.
HUNTERS
Worthless, useless, clueless. Their moms (or „mums“) wept bitterly when they told their parents they wanted to become hunters, their friends turned their heads away in shame and disgust, their dads refused to mention the hunter’s name in future conversations. „I don’t have a son/daughter!“ they exclaimed. Quite proudly, might I add. No one wants a hunter. They only pull aggro and break CC, that’s all they can do.
CAPTAINS
No one hates captains, oh no – they do far too many cool things to be hated!... but no one really knows what they do. You could save the whole fellowship in 10 seconds and no one would notice. You can shield the tank, pop IHW and LS (just in case), rez the healer(s), use ToN and RC for good measure... and everyone will thank the DPS RK for saving the day. Life just isn’t fair.
GOD MODE WARDENS
Elusive nearly mythical creatures with amazing super powers. Only tales of them remain and while yes, there have been reports of couple of such beasts on Crickhollow, there are no eyewitnesses to confirm their existence which means that a) our god moders are either so awesome that you die when you see them, or b) they simply do not exist. A few complicated equations involving lots of foreign looking letters have shown that the probability of having super powers is the highest when the warden is traited for tanking. For DPS wardens that probability is precisely 0.
By the way, the text on the parchment is written in English. I probably got a few letters wrong, but it should be alright. No one can read it anyway.
LORE-MASTERS
The misunderstood silly looking bear hugging people in bathrobes – yes, the LMs. We like their debuffs (even though most people don’t really know what the debuffs do and only admire the colourful icons under the mob’s vitals), we really like their CC, their heals and rezzes are okay if no one else is there to do it, their pets look rather cute (definitely cuter than RK pets) and usually they’re relatively nice people, except for when they’re trolling GLFF.
HEALING RUNE-KEEPERS
Long have the healing rune-keepers had to stay silent when someone asked for raid worthy healers, long have they been jealous of healing minstrels, long has their only supportive friend been their own pet rock... but not anymore. Try to befriend one because sometimes they give 10k heals to their friends for free, not to mention the zillion HoTs that they put on everyone, including complete strangers and their worst enemies. Rune-keepers are amazing now.
BURGLARS
Not much is known about the sneaky little creatures, but people like them for their ability to pop Fellowship Manoeuvres – this is how you spell that word, you bunch of illiterate... things – and tend to avoid conflict with burglars because burgs might steal all your pies and cookies when they’re angry. I also heard they’re rather good in the Moors, especially near the rez circles.
CHAMPIONS
Did you want an amazing DPS class that is quite sturdy even when they’re in their glass cannon spec? Did you want a class that can (usually) pull aggro and not worry about dying? Well, you shouldn’t have rolled a hunter, then, because clearly you were looking for champions and their shiny flashy swords. Shing shing! And all your problems are solved. They can even yell a bit to add variety to their repertoire.
GUARDIANS
Look, guards are not loved because they’re so good. They’re usually loved because they’re the ones that take all the beating while everyone else does the important stuff. Sadly all the blows they take often destroy the last few brain cells they had, resulting in extreme arrogance, nonexistent intelligence and the illusion that they’re the most important part of the raid. Oh, silly guards, you’d be nothing without the other people in your group.
HEALING MINSTRELS
Hello hello, healing minstrels, we all love you very dearly if you know how to do your job, you always smell fresh and look fashionable and no one in the whole Middle-earth could ever resist the wonderful melodies you play on your wonderful instruments.
... Bagpipes do not count, they were clearly invented by Morgoth.
You're welcome.
So you need a tank, maybe 2-3 tanks, amazing healers, good DPS and some support. All your kinmates are winking and say they're free to join any runs, but you know that some of them are worth absolutely nothing. Which ones to invite and which ones to leave behind? Decisions, decisions...
But worry not! With my brand new guide you'll be able to pick the right people with almost no effort at all! So this is my list of classes/roles in LotRO, ranked by their usefulness. The ones that you do not want in a raid come first and the ones that you really should invite are among the last.
WARDENS
Let’s face it – no one wants a warden and even more so if the warden is really bad at whatever they’re doing, be it DPS, tanking or whatever. I don’t like them. You don’t like them. The healer doesn’t like them. Even the bad hunters can point their fingers and feel superior for one moment. But staring at all their flashy skills and animations can be almost hypnotising, which is probably how wardens get into raid groups. Just pop a few shiny skills and get an invite.
DPS MINSTRELS
Arrogant creatures made famous by a certain hobbit promoting mediocre LMs on our server. They do exist and I’ve heard they do quite well in Ettenmoors, but no one wants them in raids. „9/12 ToO shadow wing, need DPS.“ – „I can DPS!“ – „... you’re a mini.“ – „So?“ – „Why did you roll a healing class to DPS?...“ *crickets*
This is why they have to beg people to invite them anywhere.
DPS RUNE-KEEPERS
You’re a sad excuse for real DPS, shooting lightning from your fingertips breaks the lore, you’re pathetically squishy and you’re taken to raids only because you’re friends with the raid leader or because they secretly hope to convince you to heal.
HUNTERS
Worthless, useless, clueless. Their moms (or „mums“) wept bitterly when they told their parents they wanted to become hunters, their friends turned their heads away in shame and disgust, their dads refused to mention the hunter’s name in future conversations. „I don’t have a son/daughter!“ they exclaimed. Quite proudly, might I add. No one wants a hunter. They only pull aggro and break CC, that’s all they can do.
CAPTAINS
No one hates captains, oh no – they do far too many cool things to be hated!... but no one really knows what they do. You could save the whole fellowship in 10 seconds and no one would notice. You can shield the tank, pop IHW and LS (just in case), rez the healer(s), use ToN and RC for good measure... and everyone will thank the DPS RK for saving the day. Life just isn’t fair.
GOD MODE WARDENS
Elusive nearly mythical creatures with amazing super powers. Only tales of them remain and while yes, there have been reports of couple of such beasts on Crickhollow, there are no eyewitnesses to confirm their existence which means that a) our god moders are either so awesome that you die when you see them, or b) they simply do not exist. A few complicated equations involving lots of foreign looking letters have shown that the probability of having super powers is the highest when the warden is traited for tanking. For DPS wardens that probability is precisely 0.
By the way, the text on the parchment is written in English. I probably got a few letters wrong, but it should be alright. No one can read it anyway.
LORE-MASTERS
The misunderstood silly looking bear hugging people in bathrobes – yes, the LMs. We like their debuffs (even though most people don’t really know what the debuffs do and only admire the colourful icons under the mob’s vitals), we really like their CC, their heals and rezzes are okay if no one else is there to do it, their pets look rather cute (definitely cuter than RK pets) and usually they’re relatively nice people, except for when they’re trolling GLFF.
HEALING RUNE-KEEPERS
Long have the healing rune-keepers had to stay silent when someone asked for raid worthy healers, long have they been jealous of healing minstrels, long has their only supportive friend been their own pet rock... but not anymore. Try to befriend one because sometimes they give 10k heals to their friends for free, not to mention the zillion HoTs that they put on everyone, including complete strangers and their worst enemies. Rune-keepers are amazing now.
BURGLARS
Not much is known about the sneaky little creatures, but people like them for their ability to pop Fellowship Manoeuvres – this is how you spell that word, you bunch of illiterate... things – and tend to avoid conflict with burglars because burgs might steal all your pies and cookies when they’re angry. I also heard they’re rather good in the Moors, especially near the rez circles.
CHAMPIONS
Did you want an amazing DPS class that is quite sturdy even when they’re in their glass cannon spec? Did you want a class that can (usually) pull aggro and not worry about dying? Well, you shouldn’t have rolled a hunter, then, because clearly you were looking for champions and their shiny flashy swords. Shing shing! And all your problems are solved. They can even yell a bit to add variety to their repertoire.
GUARDIANS
Look, guards are not loved because they’re so good. They’re usually loved because they’re the ones that take all the beating while everyone else does the important stuff. Sadly all the blows they take often destroy the last few brain cells they had, resulting in extreme arrogance, nonexistent intelligence and the illusion that they’re the most important part of the raid. Oh, silly guards, you’d be nothing without the other people in your group.
HEALING MINSTRELS
Hello hello, healing minstrels, we all love you very dearly if you know how to do your job, you always smell fresh and look fashionable and no one in the whole Middle-earth could ever resist the wonderful melodies you play on your wonderful instruments.
... Bagpipes do not count, they were clearly invented by Morgoth.
You're welcome.
07 April 2012
C is for campfire
May this picture bring good luck to both balrogs and FCers alike... we all know how miserable a raid can be without the incredibly useful bonuses that a hunter campfire provides.
In other news: I almost forgot the existence of this blog for 2 weeks and honestly, I will try to come up with something silly again. Soon. Soonish.
25 March 2012
I've got a theory
Dear members of Fightclub, friends and allies! Lately our raids have been disastrous, to say the least, and I think I finally figured out why it's like that. The problems start with the most basic things that a member of Fightclub should know...
Less cookies, more crowd control and cooperation? Yeaaaaah, I don't think anyone's going to give their share of cookies up for successful raids.
24 March 2012
Tanks
Ah yes... tanks. Be it a warden, a guardian, a champion or a captain, there's always some kind of trouble with them. A terrible tank can easily ruin the whole run for up to 23 people, but a good tank can often save the day and give hope to everyone.
So here are a few memorable tanks...
So this is Moose's dwarf guardian. I haven't really figured out how to draw him yet, so this will have to do. That aside, I think tanking suits him very well because: 1) he can die before everyone else and it is, in fact, what he's supposed to do; 2) facepulling seems legit when you're a tank, so now his noob pulls aren't so nooby anymore; 3) he can hold aggro surprisingly well. Hooray juice!
I don't know why so many guardians feel the need to tell everyone what exactly they're doing, but I can say that usually most people don't care. I play a DPS class, a support class and a healer and there have been exactly 0 times when I cared about my tank's skill rotation. I think only captains should be allowed to say they used their panic buttons (because it's kind of scary to see the captain at 2 morale without knowing he's used Last Stand).
However, Ciani pointed out that Pledge is essentially yelling "NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE"... so I guess I can forgive mentioning that one skill every once in a while.
Most champs seem to dislike tanking, but they express it in very different ways. Sen takes it like a man, Erl says she sucks at tanking, End complains about everything (but still tanks like a boss), Thorf goes back to the Moors when he's asked to tank and Feath, of course, is still too nooby to understand what's going on (awwww baby champ).
Do you know that feeling when your tank is supposed to grab aggro with a taunt and types "lol missed" instead of using another taunt when the first one misses or gets resisted? No? Lucky.
I dislike wardens and don't trust them when they're tanking, but there have been 2 very exceptional god mode wardens that I worship even after all the nerfs and failures. Seeing a nerfed warden always makes me sad, seeing a warden that goes "pffffft, who cares about the 500 orcs! let's do this!" always fills me with a very strange kind of happiness.
What do you do when your tank is Jara? That's right - you make fun of him. At least he's a very cheerful fellow, even when his shield is broken and his computer is lagging. You know we love you, Jaranoobadan!
Hooray beer, no more tanks to draw! I wonder if I should make a post about hunters...
So here are a few memorable tanks...
However, Ciani pointed out that Pledge is essentially yelling "NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE"... so I guess I can forgive mentioning that one skill every once in a while.
Hooray beer, no more tanks to draw! I wonder if I should make a post about hunters...
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